Common Struggles Experienced by AAPI Individuals
By Caitlin Dang, LMHCA, MACP
Many AAPI individuals silently carry the weight of cultural expectations, family dynamics, and personal struggles with identity, grief, and self-worth. You might find yourself constantly over-functioning, feeling like you're never enough, or questioning if your emotions are even valid. Therapy offers a space to untangle these complex layers—where you can explore your story without judgment, learn to set boundaries, and reconnect with your authentic self. Healing doesn’t mean you’re broken—it means you’re learning to grow with intention, and realizing you don’t have to do it all alone.
Common Internal Experiences
Identity confusion: “I don’t know who I am outside of what my family or culture expects of me.”
Parental guilt or pressure: “I feel selfish for wanting a different life than what my parents envisioned.”
Grief or ambiguous loss: “I’m mourning people, places, or parts of myself I’ve never really had a chance to fully know.”
Burnout from high achievement: “I’m exhausted from trying to be perfect all the time—but I don’t know how to stop.”
Disconnection from self: “I’m not sure what I want, I just know I feel empty or numb.”
Fear of letting others down: “I feel like I carry my whole family’s dreams and sacrifices, and I can’t fail.”
Loneliness in cultural complexity: “No one really understands the in-between space I live in—not fully Asian, not fully American.”
Mental health stigma: “Therapy still feels taboo in my family, and I feel ashamed for needing it.”
Strained family dynamics: “Talking to my parents feels like walking on eggshells—we don’t really see each other.”
Life transitions: “Everything is shifting—relationships, careers, who I thought I was—and it’s overwhelming.”
How Therapy Can Help
Culturally-responsive therapy: A space where they don’t have to explain or defend their bicultural experience.
Identity & self-discovery work: Guiding them to explore who they are outside of familial and cultural expectations.
Grief support: Validating ambiguous loss and creating rituals or processes for unacknowledged grief (e.g., loss of homeland, language, ancestral connection).
Intergenerational trauma processing: Helping them name patterns passed down and gently untangle from inherited pain or beliefs.
Psychoeducation & somatic practices: Offering tools to regulate the nervous system, manage anxiety, and build self-awareness.
Shame & perfectionism work: Challenging internalized narratives around productivity, worth, and success with compassion.
Affirmation of cultural strengths: Using ancestral resilience and values as foundations for healing—not barriers to it.
Navigating family dynamics: Helping them find language and boundaries to relate to their families with less guilt and more agency.
Support through life transitions: Providing grounded reflection and support in navigating career, relationships, independence, and purpose.
Destigmatizing therapy: Offering a warm, non-judgmental space where seeking help is a strength, not a flaw.
Therapeutic approaches for AAPI individuals often need to differ from traditional Western counseling models because they must account for deeply rooted cultural values such as collectivism, filial piety, emotional restraint, and interdependence. Many AAPI clients internalize beliefs that prioritizing the group over the self is a moral duty, which can create inner conflict when seeking help for personal struggles. Feelings of shame, fear of burdening others, or guilt for not meeting cultural or familial expectations are common. Western models that emphasize individualism or direct emotional expression may not always resonate. A culturally responsive therapeutic approach instead honors these internal experiences, validating the complexities of bicultural identity, unspoken family dynamics, and intergenerational expectations. Therapy becomes a space to gently explore these tensions, reconnect with agency, and reframe self-compassion as a strength—helping clients heal in a way that feels authentic and aligned with their cultural values.
Interested in therapy or consultation? I offer trauma-informed and culturally responsive counseling for clients in Washington State and coaching nationally.
