What the Show Beef Tells Us About Generational Trauma and Healing

By Caitlin Dang, LMHCA, MACP

If you’ve watched Netflix’s Beef, you know it’s not just about a road rage incident gone too far. Beneath the chaos lies a powerful story about pain, unmet needs, and the systems—family, culture, and society—that shape how we relate to ourselves and each other.

Amy Lau and Danny Cho, the central characters, come from very different walks of life but carry similar emotional burdens. What sparks between them isn't just anger. It’s the surfacing of long-suppressed wounds: shame, rejection, emotional neglect, and the feeling of never being “enough.”

As a therapist who often works with Asian American clients and others navigating generational trauma, this show hit deeply. It reveals how unresolved pain often leaks into our relationships, our work, and our sense of self-worth.

Intergenerational Trauma Isn’t Always Loud

In many Asian households, emotions are often managed through silence, sacrifice, or shame. Expressing anger might be seen as disrespectful. Voicing sadness may be brushed off as weakness. Over time, that emotional suppression can build up, and when it erupts—as it does between Amy and Danny—it’s not always pretty.

Amy’s story illustrates what happens when we internalize our childhood wounds. Growing up with emotionally unavailable or critical parents can plant seeds of self-doubt and lead to coping patterns like overworking, perfectionism, people-pleasing, or self-isolation. These coping strategies help us survive, but eventually, they stop serving us.

Systems Shape Us—and Healing Requires Looking at the Bigger Picture

Beef also shows how cultural values, immigration stories, and family systems collide to shape mental health. Amy and Danny aren't just individuals—they’re products of multiple systems. Understanding this is key to healing. Therapy that honors this complexity can help clients unpack those systems and reclaim their stories.

It’s not about blaming parents or rejecting our culture. It’s about noticing how certain messages and survival strategies were formed—and gently questioning whether they still serve us today.

Healing Takes Patience, and Everyone’s Timeline Looks Different

Watching Amy struggle is painful, especially if you see parts of yourself in her. Maybe you’ve learned to keep your pain quiet. Maybe you carry guilt for wanting more emotional connection. Maybe success hasn’t filled the emptiness inside you.

Healing is messy. It doesn't look the same for everyone. Sometimes, the first step is simply recognizing your pain has roots. Sometimes it's choosing therapy not because you're broken, but because you're ready to break cycles.

You’re Not Alone

If Beef stirred something in you, you’re not imagining it. Stories like these make invisible pain visible. They show us that beneath anger, there’s often grief. Beneath perfectionism, there’s often longing. And beneath disconnection, there’s a deep desire to be seen, understood, and loved—just as we are.

If you're on a path of healing, know that it doesn’t have to be walked alone. Therapy can be a space where your story is honored in all its complexity, and where you're allowed to be more than your roles, responsibilities, or coping mechanisms.

Interested in therapy or consultation? I offer trauma-informed and culturally responsive counseling for clients in Washington State and coaching nationally.

Resources 

Chenfeng, J., Kim, L, Wu, Y., & Knudson-Martin, C. (2017). Addressing culture, gender,  and power with Asian American couples: Application of socio-emotional relationship therapy. Family Process, 56, 558-573. https://doi.org/10.1111/famp.12251 

Fishbane, M.D. (2019). Healing intergenerational wounds: An integrative relational neurobiological approach. Family Process, 58, 796-818. https://doi.10.1111/famp.12488   

Jin, S.L., Nandan, R., Reich, A., Schreier, J., Wong, A., & Yeun, S. (Executive Producers). (2023). BEEF [TV series]. Netflix. https://www.netflix.com/ 

Schwartz, R.C. (2013). Moving from acceptance toward transformation with internal family systems (IFS). Journal of Clinical Psychology: In Session, 69, 805-816. https://doi.1002.jclp.22016   

Vetere, A. (2001). Structural family therapy. Child Psychology & Psychiatry Review, 6, 133-139.

Zhu, P., Lau, J. & Navalta, C.P. (2020). An ecological approach to understanding pervasive and hidden shame in complex trauma. Journal of Mental Health Counseling, 42, 155-169. https://doi.org.10.17744/mehc.42.2.05